Insecurity Guards

First a disclaimer: This post is not meant to disparage our security guards. They have noble jobs and earn a decent living. I know these people do their best and invest sweat on their work just to feed their families. I’m sure all they want is to make their life better like we all do. In fact, Juan Kukute believes that security guards are some of the most hardworking people he met in his life. He befriended a few and not one of them is named Mikey Arroyo. Who cares anyway, that fellow only wants to frisk bulging pockets in Congress. Well, back to my point, this article is not intended to insult. If you get offended, pangit ka, hala.

Their job is just to stand, frisk, and secure the people and premises. Of those three, people notice that our security guards only understand the standing part, at least that’s the general public perception. I defer. However, the thing I cannot really fathom about these guards is their funny presence. Now maybe you’re thinking what I’m up to.

Compared probably to other countries, the Philippines has more visible security guards in every public entrances and exits. They can be seen all over the Philippines, usually uniformed and armed with two-gauge sawed-off shotgun or a revolver (mostly paltik and Danao-made). Good that their presence deters amateur criminals and vagrants. Except for bulky bank security guards with semi-automatic rifles and obviously retired or discharged members of the police or armed forces, most of those we see in small establishments can’t even kick a pail. Jezz, even Juan Kukute can tackle one, at least the smirking 5’4 and maybe 119 pounder guard he always sees in a mall in Commonwealth Avenue. I don’t know what’s wrong with the guy, but he’s pathetically bored.

Anyway, as what I’m saying, most guards in the Philippines have funny issues (or is it with me only, lol). Usually in malls, commercial establishments, and train stations, you will see them in the entrance door behind a small long table they use to examine bags and packages. As we all know, there’s a line for males attended by a male security guard and queues for females overseen by a female guard. Noticeably, those without detectors use a stick to inspect the people’s belongings. I don’t know about that wood gadget, but they seem to trust its magic. They lazily use it to pick on bags while looking at the other end of the line. Wow, that must be effective because so far nobody’s been caught with a knife or a gun, at least maybe to their knowledge. After inspection of bags and packages, they frisk your waist and back, tap your bottom, and feel you up. Again no hidden weapons found. If you’re getting an idea, drop it pal. Don’t try to test them and bring something bladed. That will be too risky. Even dumb cops get lucky lol.

Do you remember that security expert who tested the status of Philippine airline security and pulled it off many years ago? I can’t remember what his contrabands were, but he entered the airport with probably a knife, bomb, or a gun, booked a domestic flight, entered and left the plane without anyone knowing he would have made a tragic ending for some people in midair if he was a real terrorist. After the test, he reported to the media and boom! Many men in expensive suits got bitchslapped.

I am not a security expert, but I know most of the security guards we see are obviously amateurs. I will understand if they will be the first runners at the sound of a gunshot. I can’t blame them. With the small change they take home from their salaries, who would risk his life in a nonsense skirmish.  For us people, the best we can do is just respect them. Just don’t get too lax with their presence.

Just a postscript: Why is it they usually let foreigners or people in good suits pass them without frisking or inspection? Crazy. Remember, not all terrorists are homebred and stay in Malacanang for 9 years.